Mexico 2013: Leaving Las Vegas

Readers? Meet the most annoying woman in the resort. She's English, and used her iPad to Skype her friends and family 4 or 5 times a day on from the beach. So we all got to witness their conversations. In my best English accent: "HELLLLOOOOWWW CHARRRRRLOTTE! IT'S MUMMY! I'M CALLING YOU FROM BESIDE THE SEA! DADDY'S IN A FOUR-POSTER BED ON THE BEACH....

"WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE THE BEACH CHARRRLLOTTE?" And would then prance out into the center of the beach and hold her iPad out while spinning in a circle.

Surely her daughter enjoyed this shot. The couple next to us on the beach didn't seem to speak English, but we were both on the same page: this is the most annoying woman EVER.

Over the weeks, we all began to notice this large man in the distance behind my  husband.

He was bloated and swollen, she was wobbly, stick-thin and looked like she could have been introduced to a vitamin or two. We speculated on why two people who could barely walk would come to an all-inclusive beach resort...I suggested they might be attempting to drink themselves to death. Henceforth, they became known simply as "Leaving Las Vegas."

The best part? These three pics were taken on different days, but we never saw either of them in a different outfit. Each subsequent time I saw them in the same outfit I elbowed my husband with "Day 5! Day 5!" People are so weird.